Pulpit versus Military Chaplaincy

During this time with Tom's family, I have come to a realization.

The aspect of walking the family through their grief, and being a constant in their lives for years to come is not what a Military chaplain does.

We move every 2 - 2.5 years.

We deal with deaths and do not have the bandwidth to keep in touch with all the previous families.
We have hundreds (no exaggeration) of other sailors and families that need our attention at the same time.

We get the families resources to help them grieve and then heal.

But we are not expected to maintain contact, after the one year anniversary.

I miss that part of pulpit life.

My father named children, Bar and Bat Mitzvahed them, married them, and buried them.
He can recite family trees of congregants with whom he had close ties, and tell me all the connections he had with each of the branches.

He was these families' rabbi.

I wish I could be that for my sailors as well.