Sunday, February 23, 2020

QM2 Thomas Ryan O'Connor's Eulogy


Thomas Ryan O’Connor had one theme that framed his life.

Love every aspect of life fiercely.



We are here at the beach because he loved the water.

Whether it was for swim team, or lifeguarding, bodysurfing or competing and WINNING the Tampa Bay Frog Man swim, water was in Tom’s blood.



But it was not just in the water where he was at home.



He spent the last three days of his life camping with Dave Pierce. Even though it took he and Shannah a long time to find his dream apartment, or “Coronado Island estate,” he was rarely there. He was always outside.

He loved connecting to nature, and get back to humankind’s roots – from camping and seeing the world from the mountain peaks, to hunting and hiking.



Tom loved people.

He pushed some of us out of the boxes we had placed ourselves in.

He showed us that we could be more - -because he knew how to connect to each of us – when to use humor and when to be serious.

His charisma made us want to live in his world – where every action was poetry in motion, the Big Lebowski was a class on philosophy, cast-iron skillets were the only way to go.

He brought everyone into his universe – ensuring that no-one was left behind.

He shared his dreams, and that made us want to dream too. 

He reframed how we see the world – as adventures and challenges waiting for us to conquer.

He showed us that you could live a life that was juxtaposed between being driven and carefree – like learning a new song on the guitar by ear, or having three times as many shoes than your wife.



Tom loved people.

He used humor to defuse tension-filled moments, like once describing BUDS as if it were a really bad summer camp.

“Today at summer camp, they twied to drown us.”

He loved making us laugh with his impressions and impersonations – from Micky Mouse to George Bush.



Thomas loved his family - - by blood or those he put his arms around.

He wore his pride for his Irish heritage on his chest with a Tree of Life tattoo, surrounded with the phrase, “Together We Are Alive Forever.” The roots that grow into the ground, the branches that reach for the sky and the seedling that falls and sprouts, continuing the cycle forever.    

Though he made sure to stand next to Caitlan, to demonstrate how much taller he had become when she visited from college, and she may have given him nightmares about how she beat him at every board game they played together, he loved her fiercely, as only a younger brother can.

He perfected his grandmother’s shepherd’s pie recipe, out of love for her.

He loved his mother, learning from her the skills of a quiet leader.

He loved his grandfather, and showed that love through a similar eagle tattoo, a permanent reminder of their bond.

He loved his father, sharing deep conversations about life and philosophy,  and through their conversations, looked to embody Marcus Aurelius’ teaching, “Waste no more time arguing about a good man should be. Be one.”



Thomas loved his wife.

He would sit on the phone with her during her 2 hour commute home every day and just talk.

He would make dinner and pack her lunch for the next day.

He took such pride in all of her accomplishments, he bragged about her to anyone who would listen.

And he knew how important a tuna sandwich can be.

He was willing to sit down and watch The Bachelor with Shannah, only to become a little obsessed in what happened week-to-week.

Though he knew she was not totally excited about hiking, he tempered his excitement, because walking with her was more important than racing up the mountain.

He thought about their future, and albeit, maybe went a little overboard, found a book of Norse Baby Names with her, asking her to consider the name SVEN or ODIN for their future children.

She shared her love of Missouri with him, he came away with a love for Bud Lite and dalmatian dogs. 



Tomas loved life. And in his short 25 years, he lived it to the fullest. He did not waste time – instead – every moment was an opportunity to explore the world he loved, to connect with people and make them feel a part of something greater than themselves. He shared those things important in his life with others. He loved his family, demonstrated it by how he lived his life – we are proof of that. And he loved Shannah – his soulmate. His yin to his yang. She helped him grow into the man we knew.



He would want us to celebrate this day and not waste an opportunity to live, explore, to wonder and dream. 



As Dave Matthews Band said,  

Celebrate we will
'Cause life is short but
Sweet for certain, hey
We climb on two by two
To be sure these days continue”



Good night sweet prince. 


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