NCSC - Day 23 And We Were Doing So Well...

Up until this point, we have had few mishaps. These are the type of behaviors that get us in trouble. For example, your cell phone going off in class or coming to class late. My favorite is forgetting to stand up and declare yourself when answering a question. (Chaplain Candidate Creditor, Sir. I believe...)

However, this morning we were asked to write decision memos on a pretend issue. When our lead instructor came in the room, he explained to us how mad he was that no one wrote a the memo correctly. Then he left the room and the GnySgt let us have it. The difference between a Chaplain yelling at you and a former marine DRILL SERGEANT yelling at you is that the Gunny called out the people who were late or whose cell phones went off, his face turned red.

After he left the room, the incoming lead instructor spoke to us kindly and with love to take the sting off the verbal beating we had just received.

[One observation was that we had just experienced the three 'hats' from marine training. The third who yells, the 'heavy' who speaks with anger and the 'senior', who mothers us.]

And we were doing so well...

NCSC - Day 22 The Onion

Today has been unusual.

For PT today, we played ultimate frisbee. Setting aside the fact that we did not have a typical PT session, it was awesome. The GnySgt played as well. The best part, was when he started trash talking. The layers of the GnySgt are just starting to peel away.

Later today, we were drilling (marching) and we messed up so badly that the GnySgt said that we looked like a bag of wet doughnuts all shook up. (I don't understand where that expression came from.) That's when we started laughing. The GnySgt tried but in the end he could not maintain his military bearing and started laughing with/at us. Another layer has been peeled back.

NCSC - Day 21 Straight Forward

Sometimes, it is nice to have a day that is straight forward with no surprises.

05:30 PT

change

Breakfast

07:05 Formation

07:20 morning devotions

08:00 class

10:00 another class

lunch

13:00 more class

15:00 final class

18:00 dinner

20:30 sleep...

NCSC - Day 20 Sunday

Today has been a somewhat relaxing day.
I wrote a paper about how I measure success, watched TV, read an article for my Midrash class at JTS and went on what was supposed to be a 2 mile run.

I got a little lost. It turned into 3+ miles.

NCSC - Day 19 Who gets to speak?

** I have edited this post due to the class's decision on Monday morning. **

I have described the morning devotions in previous blogs. Recently, I have sat through multiple services. Each has its own style and structure. Last Thursday, to add to the diversity, we conducted a Torah service and invited everyone so they could see what it's like. I have appreciated the openness and willingness to explore each other's beliefs and customs.

We have a schedule for who leads the Protestant worship lab. Out of 20 chaplains, 15 attend the service, each coming from a different branch. When they are scheduled to run the service, they have it reflect their faith tradition. For example, the RLDS (Reorganized Latter Day Saints) service looks different from an Evangelical service, which is different from a Methodist service. From each, I learn the style of their sermonizing and the structure of their service.

Oddly, all three rabbis were on that schedule. At first, I figured it was a mistake because I would not preach in a Protestant lab. When it was initially clarified, it was explained to me that it meant that on that day, I would be in the Jewish worship lab, running services.

The more I thought about it, the more I did not and do not like that idea at all. Watching us run a Torah service or watching us pray means that they do not get to hear me give a Dvar Torah, a mini-sermon.

On Monday morning (today, 2/27), the class decided that the Jewish chaplains could give the morning devotion in the Protestant prayer lab so long as it is in fact a morning devotion and not a lecture on Judaism.

I will be speaking on Wednesday.

NCSC - Day 18 Act of Valor

So what do a bunch of Navy chaplains do when they are cut loose 3 hours early on a Friday?

See the new movie about Navy S.E.A.L.s, called 'Act of Valor.'

After the movie, some of us reflected on the impact of what we saw and how it relates to our jobs as chaplains. How will we be able to help heal the wounds of these heroic S.E.A.L.s that were created by those things they experience - injury, permanent physical disability and the death of comrades.

Looking around, it was great to see all of us processing the movie through the lens of ministry.

If I can watch 'Master and Commander' as a part of my leadership training at ODS, then why not use 'Act of Valor' as a part of the chaplain school curriculum?

NCSC - Day 16/17 Mayport Navy Station

There is so much to share from our trip to Navy Station Mayport in Jacksonville, FL. Here are the highlights:

1) We met the captain of one of the Destroyers who talked about how his success hangs on his ability to know the crew, know about the crew, their lives, their families - to truly connect with them so they can succeed.

2) We toured the Farragut (Destroyer), Gettysburg (cruiser) and the Halyburton (Frigate). I learned that the ships are built for my size. The quarters are small, the passageways are small and I felt right at home. Even on the frigate, while sleeping in the officer's quarters and having to climb onto the top rack (bed), I had plenty of room to move. I can not say the same about my counterparts. (And if you have ever seen Firefly, our sink was just like that. It folds open and when you are done, close it up and the water spills down the back.)

3) While getting a tour of the Hayburton, the Petty Officer 2nd class (PO2) opened up to our chaplain guide. He proverbially spilled his guts to her, almost forgetting that the group of us were there. If that can happen with on PO2 with a room full of strangers, how much more so would a PO2 open up to a chaplain he knows.

4) We had the chance to use the helicopter simulator. I was doing great but in the end, I killed all my passengers. Guess I will stick with chaplaincy and leave aviation to the pilots.

5) We got to spend a few hours with the CG (Coast Guard) and instead of a power point presentation about what they do, they took us out on a 45 foot cutter down the St. Johns River. Some of us even got to drive. I have more respect for the CG than I ever did before. The Navy trains for situations but the CG don't train - they do. Their job is hard and there are not many of them.

6) Chaplains get slap happy after 5 hours of continuous driving.

NCSC - Day 15 Playing Catch-up

I have spent the last five months biking around New York City. Not running.

So when I came to Ft. Jackson, I was surrounded by people who had been running for the last five weeks and I am playing catch-up.

For PT today, we did a 1.5 mile run of "Last Man", formerly called 'Indian sprints." You run in single file and the person at the end calls out "LAST MAN" and sprints to the front. Once at the front, they wave their hand and the next person sprints to the front.

As the slowest person in Bravo 12010, this was a challenge.

So my hero today is Chaplain Peterson, who hates PT, for telling that I am 'the little engine that could' at the end of the first mile. He made me laugh and enjoy the last two laps.

So I wondered, if I am 'the engine that could' and he is behind me, does that make him the caboose?

NCSC - Days 13/14 Recovery

Thank God for National holidays.

In order to celebrate the fact that we have presidents, I get an extra day off. I get to give my brain a rest from the daily six hours of power-point presentations and PT at 05:30. Of course, I am going to pay for this relaxing and sleeping on Tuesday.

NCSC - Days 11/12 Good Behavior

Due to our good behavior, we have been given liberty early.

We are free until 0510 Tuesday morning.

Shabbat Shalom.

NCSC - Day 10 Spontaneous Prayer

This morning a classmate of mine was sick and had to go to the hospital to get treatment.

With no hesitation, we came together to pray for his health. The prayer was honest, heartfelt and universal.

There is something really powerful about spontaneous prayer that we as Jews are scared to engage in. It's too "christian" for us and so we have given it up. Yet most Jews do not turn to the prayer book with it's Hebrew that holds no meaning for them.

Sadly, we need more spirituality and need to stop fearing how spontaneous English prayers are perceived. We need more prayer and more God in our lives. We should not fear stepping away from the prayer book with it's liturgical and scripted prayers and begin to take a page from our Christian counterparts.

Embrace the spiritual.

Embrace the spontaneous prayer.

Let God in.

For my classmate I offer this prayer tonight.

Heavenly father, tonight I pray that you watch over my classmate, Chaplain J. as he recovers from his injury. May you bring healing to him speedily through the guidance of the doctors and nurses in whose patient and caring hands you have placed him. And give strength to his family so they can be a support to him during this time of recovery. Amen.

NCSC - Day 9 Pastoral Care

In a pastoral class I took a few years ago, we discussed the need to unpack our own baggage so that we can deal with it before providing pastoral care to others. It made sense then as it does now. When you hear someone talking about something that triggers things in you, if you have not dealt with them, it will hinder your ability to help the person.

So it is even more true that when chaplains are sent into combat zones and the enemy is firing, that our baggage will bubble to the surface while we are supposed to be providing counseling to these warriors. (The military has begun to use the word 'warrior' rather than soldier, sailor, troop...) These warriors are turning to us to "feed off our inner peace." If we are able to keep it together, then the warrior will look at us as the dugma, the example.

Think about this. If Deborah was scared and it showed on her face, Barak and the troops would have never followed her into battle. Instead, she was the calm that they saw and took it upon themselves to emulate. But the only way to get to that point, is to work through our baggage beforehand.

I am no exception. I have had to work through my PTSD from 9/11 and losing colleagues, the guilt of surviving and then feeling the burden of keeping silent so that I continued to give off the appearance of being unfazed. I put in the work and continue to work on it and today drilled it home that all that work will keep me in good stead if I am in Afghanistan for Rosh Hashannah.

NCSC - Day 8 Chaplain Crouterfield

Chaplain Crouterfield is the Course Officer of the Navy chaplain school here at Ft. Jackson. He is also a mentor. He takes some time before he begins to teach to have a 'mentoring moment' with us. Today's moment was the following: leadership is a personal expense. It is a simple statement but with serious implications.

The significance of the statement is in understanding that there are positive and negative effects of leading on the leader. More specifically, being a leader requires personal sacrifice. It will exact an expense on every part of you - whether it be financial, emotional, spiritual, your time or your family.

To be a Navy chaplain means to understand the impact that being a leader will have on our lives. One of my classmates used the following image: The Navy pays for a certain amount for us to be leaders. The rest is going to be out-of-pocket expenses. Better still was the forethought that if you know what to expect and the impact leadership will have on you, that you will be more prepared for when it does.

As Chaplain Croutefield concluded, "Love them enough to pay the price."

NCSC - Day 7 PT 21

21 degrees... Fahrenheit.

This was the temperature yesterday morning at 5:15am as we made our way to LZ Bravo (the physical training field).

As we warmed up, the Gunnery Sergeant told us that tomorrow (Tuesday), we would not be able to raise our hands in class.

We believed him but all day after PT, I did not feel overly sore. That was the case until 2am this morning when I tried to roll over and my arms did not work.

And the Gunny was right. It took all my strength and willpower to raise my hand today in class.

NCSC - Day 5/6 Rest

Thank you, God, for giving me a mandatory day of rest.

Because I needed it.

Thank you, God, for giving me another day off so I can write my 'ministry of leadership' paper, read for class and do my laundry and be in bed by 20:00.

NCSC - Day 4 Dorothy

The commanding officer of the chaplain school addressed us today.

There was one thing he said that has stuck with me.

With everything going on in our lives, there is no where else we would rather be.

How true that is.

Even knowing that Gunnery Sergeant Washechek (he's a marine) is going to destroy us at PT (physical training) on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday and we will still have to sit though classes after, there is no where else I would rather be.

I know why I am here. It is not because I don't think I could make it as a pulpit rabbi or Schechter school rabbi or the rabbi of a Hillel. It's because there aren't a lot of rabbis who can handle this training, inter-faith diversity and lifestyle.

There are Jews serving our military and they are entitled to have a rabbi, whether it is in Afghanistan, working on a base or a new recruit fresh off the bus at Paris Island.

And if I have to be here to get there to serve Amcha, then...

there is no where else I would rather be.

NCSC - Day 3 Paris Island

There is a commercial for the Marines, 'some will hear the call.' In that commercial you see the yellow footprints. I stood in those footprints, with the D.I. (drill instructor, also called 'hat') yelling at us.

Move!

Yes, sir!

Louder!

Yes sir.

Are you done? You should say, 'Done sir!"

Done sir!

In those few seconds, I was jolted out of my relaxed state into one of complete focus. And my anxiety was heightened. That was the point.

We were then handed over to some of the base chaplains who explained that what these recruits go through is not haphazard. It's a science. This process is meant to break them down to their most basic level so they can be built back up together, with the same core values (Honor, Courage, Commitment), same ethical principles. If I know that you have trained with me, do the same things I do, have the same expectations and ethics, then I can trust you when I go into battle.

Over the course of the day, we got to see some of the training up-close. We got to visit the 4th battalion. That's the all women's battalion. The women and men train separately and only once at their next command, integrate. I watched these 40 women and remembered what is driving me to go through my training. So that I can be there for them - these women - to have a chaplain, a FEMALE chaplain they can turn to. Someone who gets the gender difficulties in the military.

The head chaplain and our guides (officers and enlisted marines) on base kept telling us that chaplains have a very important place in the military.

We support and guide, teach and counsel, offer a safe space and educate the officers, the command and their families. The D.I.s care for the body of the marine recruit. We care for their souls.

If I am lucky, I will serve with a marine battalion and having seen just a piece of the recruit's experience, I can use that when I minister to them.

Hoo-rah.

NCSC - Day 2 Morning Devotions

Every morning we have services. Each denomination goes into their own room and pray. This morning I decided to go to the Catholic services next door. It was led by my classmate but all three members of the service (who were all priests) took active roles within the service. I listened to the three sections of Scripture that were read, two of which are mine as well. I had never seen the washing of the hands before the taking of the sacrament because in Jewish tradition, we wash our hands before we say the blessing over the bread. Even the call and response that was done reminded me of my own services, whether it is the response of the community to the priestly benediction or the recitation of certain psalms on Shabbat. I came to the conclusion that I appreciated Mass because their rituals are so unique and similar to my own. I even appreciated being included in the Mass as all three worshipers were male but each announcement was "brothers and sisters."

I was planning on going to the Protestant services tomorrow but we leave for Paris Island (Marine training facility) at 0330.

NCSC - Day 1 The Calm

You know that Chaplain School is different from ODS when you are not woken up on the first morning at 0345 with people screaming at you to get up. Instead, we met up in the lobby of our hotel to drive back to base. We had more than 60 minutes to eat lunch as compared to 15 minutes.

And when I got in trouble for using a blue pen, no one had to do push-ups or squats or end up in the sand pit. I was threatened with having to write a memo. Big difference.

In addition, we do not call each other by rank (for example, Ensign Creditor), rather by the title of 'chaplain.' The only problem with saying 'Chaplain Candidate Creditor' or 'Chaplain Peterson' all the time is that already on the first day, one of the chaplains accidentally called the Gunnery Sergeant (E7, at least 15 years of enlisted service in the Marine Corps), 'Chaplain.' GnySgt Washechek did not even crack a smile. There's always tomorrow.

NCSC - Day 0 Semper Gumbi

There is a rule that I learned at ODS.

If you are early, you are on time. If you arrive on time, you are late.

And that is why, instead of taking the day to settle in after traveling from NYC, I changed in to my NWUs (Navy Work Uniform = camouflage uniform) within 10 minutes of walking in the door and sitting in class taking notes.

That's right. Chaplain School started today. My orders say that I start school tomorrow at 0700.

Semper Gumbi. (Always flexible)

NCSC: T-12 hours before departure

Oh my (sea) bags are packed, and I am ready to go.

I am standing here in the Moadon (lounge),

I'm waiting for the Giants to win the Superbowl.

I can't stay up too late,

I leave early in haste.

For Chaplain School,

on an army base.

Fort Jackson South Carolina, here I come.

Cause I'm leaving on an air bus,

In 12 hours I'll be travelin'.

Oy vey,

my bag weighs a ton!