Jewish High Holidays, COVID style at MCRD

Let's have Rosh HaShannah (New Year) services outside in MCRD.

We got to be under the Tree of Life. 

How awesome!

Wait... Does that make MCRD the Garden of Eden?????

 

Challah

I have not made Challah in over two years. 

So, since I had a three day stay-cation, I made challot for Rosh HaShannah. 

Spot NAM (USS John Finn)

 In appreciation for everything I did for the John Finn, they gave me a Spot NAM. 

I may have gotten a little teary eyed, but I blamed it on possible allergies. 

Mentoring Future Chaplains

 You know what's great?

When your CCPO (chaplain candidate) coin you!

The note they sent went into my "Love Me" binder.

5 SEPT

It's the last night of my last underway with LKE.

This is what I said at my final afternoon prayer: 

Good afternoon Lake Erie.

Let us Pray.

In the last 56 days, we have drilled, ran flight quarters, CONREPS, shot missiles, hunted subs, broke bread 168 times, saw Hawaii, celebrated 31 birthdays, 4 births, shot 1200 rounds, and traversed 11000 nautical miles together. 

We got new quals, pinned and promoted fellow shipmates, and celebrated their successes with them. We built new relationships, solidified existing ones that will outland the sequester. 

We stood the watch under a starry sky, and open seas with no one else around. 

Together, we battled through adversities - personal and professional, and each time, we helped each other overcome, and become stronger than before. 

We will take each of these memories with us, even once we cross the brow. 

With your blessing, God, we conclude this time together. 

Amen. 

Don't Give Up The Ship.

I wrote all my evening prayers in one journal. This is the first page, marking underways, nautical miles, and major milestones. 
  

Christmas In August

 When your crew has been sequestered since 13 JUL, and have not touched land since the day they came on board, morale is down. 

But the rabbi throwing a Christmas party in August ... that's doable. 

RIMPAC

We went to RIMPAC. 

We did some stuff.

19 AUG 2020: LTJG McCalla's second anniversary

 We lost a sailor at sea on 19 AUG 2018, 9 days before I reported aboard. 

This is the second anniversary, and the second time at sea on that day. 

The gathering was a celebration of life, and it felt right. 

There were tears, and laughter, and I pray the healing has begun. 

Pissing off the Enlisted (Taking the Spades Tournament Belts)

 Spades is taken very seriously aboard.

The heroes of Spades have championship belts when they are tournament champions.

 

Since coming on board, the belts have never come to the Wardroom.

Two weeks ago, OPS and WEPS beat Air Boss and myself for the belt.

Last night, Air Boss and I beat Ops and WEPS for the championship, the belts, and the bragging rights.

 

Long may we reign.

Fat Leonard and the Backgammon Trophy

 

Fat Leonard was a gentleman who swindled the Navy out of a great deal of money.

He was known for his lavish meals and expensive gifts. 

Apparently, our ship got a gift from him as well. A letter opener, with its own sheath. 

That is now the wardroom backgammon trophy. 

And I am the current reigning champion. 

The importance of the Quiet Moment

 

I was vising a work center, and talking to a sailor who has come to me for counseling recently. She quietly thanked me for taking the time to listen to her earlier that week.

She explained that when she comes to talk to me, it is helpful and meaningful.

I put my hand on her shoulder, quietly whispering how grateful I was to be here for her.

 

Those are the quiet moments of affirmation that mean so much to me.

I will miss this ship.

The Bonhomme Richard is Burning

 We were one pier over. 

The Fitz was on the same pier as them. 

My sailors, including my RP, went to help. 

There are no words. 

                                                

                                                 

The Good Idea Fairy, the rabbi, and a roasted Pig

 

Yesterday, the CO announced at his mega-sync, that he wanted to have a luau when we get Hawaii – knowing we can’t get off the ship, or the designated area on the pier.

He said, “Chaps, I want to do a luau – the roasted pig and the whole 9 yards.”

I had no filter and responded, “Roger that, Sir. The rabbi will get you the roasting pig on a spit!. Aye, Sir!”

We all had a good laugh, and I got the pigs. 

Another thing to put on, and now strike off my bucket list.

Yes, the CSs named the pigs. No, I do not remember their names. 

Advocating For What You Believe/ Fighting for Your Sailor

 

I met a Catholic chaplain, CDR.

Once, I asked him why he did not make O-6.

He told me this story.

 

He found out that his CO was having an affair.

He went to speak to the CO, advising him to end the affair before he was caught, and because it is immoral.

The CO was caught, and he blamed the chaplain.

He had the chaplain blackballed, so every time he was up for promotion, he was always turned down.

 

I asked him, out of curiosity if it was worth it. He told me that the most important thing, was that he could look himself in the mirror every day, knowing he did the right thing.

 

I took that lesson to heart.

 

My sailor who was suicidal asked for help.

I advocated for him with everyone who I was supposed to, with his permission.

I kept pushing because I knew what I heard and what I saw.

If anyone thought I coached him – that would be their problem, not mine.

For this sailor, I was willing to piss off whoever I needed, if it meant that he got the help he needed.

 

I can look myself in the mirror, and know that I did the right thing.

Finding the Words to Ask for Help

 

Sailors talk to us in their own language.

Innocuous words have different meaning for different people.

When you tell me you are “okay,” what does that mean to you?

 

I spend the time getting to understand the lexicon of the sailors.

It takes time, and attentiveness to language, wording, and syntax.

 

So when a sailor comes to me, sharing that he is suicidal without saying those exact words, I knew what he was trying to say.

I had already learned his lexicon from previous counselings.

 

What was hard for him to realize, was that the other members who were a part of the process of getting him off the ship for treatment, did not understand him.

 

I explained to him the importance of using transparent language, and speaking plainly.

It is hard when you have to say out loud that you are suicidal and homicidal.

It is scary.

It is scary to say, and admit.

 

Thank God, he was able to finally say the words that were weighing on his heart.

Words that were understood by those in charge.

His clear words freed him, so he could get medical assistance before anything terrible happened to him or anyone else on the ship.

Closing a Chapter

 On Friday, the USS JOHN FINN had their official ship’s memorial for QM2 Thomas O’Connor.

I had thought that the wound on my heart, created by the pain of his shipmates and family would not open back up again.

But, as QM1 spoke, my realized I felt something dripping down between my face and my facemask.

I took a second to realize I was crying.

 May his memory strengthen others to live as he lived.

INVOCATION

 

Let us pray.

 

For the last five months, we have mourned the loss of QM2 O’Connor individually, and internally.

We had moments where we turned around, thinking we heard his voice, or expected him to walk through the door.

 We thought of something funny and he was the first person we wanted to share it with.

We stopped watching a specific movie he loved, because it just did not feel right watching it without him.

We experienced life, and it sometimes felt dull, because we knew that Tom would have made each moment vibrant.

Creator of the soul,

Today we come to mourn our loss of Tom together. We ask that You witness the love we had for one of our people, whom You endowed with so much goodness and joy of life, that he could barely contain it in his skin.

We pray that You be present for each of us as we need, bringing comfort to us all during this ceremony, as our hearts take their first steps in healing. 

Amen.

 

BENEDICTION

Let us pray.

Source of Wonder,

Together, we laid bare the scars on our hearts and souls created by Tom’s absence.

And, just as he would have wanted it, we came together as a community to begin to heal, and use his life as a way to inspire us to greatness.

He taught us to love life fiercely, 100% of the time.

He showed us that…

…We can be more than we realize.

… Failure is merely a jumping off point for greater successes.

… Blood is not the only way to define family.

… Never miss an opportunity to show the people you love  - - how much you love them. 

 

May his memory encourage us to celebrate every aspect of life’s journey  - with every zig and zag.  And whenever possible, bring others along for the ride.

 

God, give us the strength to live like Tom.

 

Amen.

Fitzgerald

 One 1 NOV 2017, the USS Fitzgerald was in a collision with a tanker. She returned to San Diego on 2 JUL 2020.

Welcome home, Fighting Fitz!

Juneteenth

On deployment, I learned about Juneteenth. I think it should be a federal holiday. 

Below is the invocation I wrote for evening prayer, as we were underway at the time.  

Let us pray.

On June 19^th, 1865, the Union army arrived in Galveston Texas,

proclaiming all slaves free.

It had taken two years for the word to finally reach the far corners of the United States.

Lord on High,

This was a holy moment in time,

 where America took its first steps to redeem itself,

 and seek to begin to fulfill the vision and promise that all people are created equal.

Juneteenth embodied the words written on the Statue of Liberty, “give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to be free..:”

In Genesis chapter 1, You taught us that we, Your creations,

were created by you,

making us equal in Your eyes ----  Not some of us - - not a few of us - - ALL of us.

God, we ask that you guide us to continue to blaze the trail of harmony between all Your people. Help us to realize the vision of your prophet,

Harriet Tubman, that “Every Great Dream, begins with a Dreamer.

Always remember that you have with you the strength,

 the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

 

Amen.

 Don’t Give Up The Ship. 

 

 

Havdallah on a Tuesday Night

 

There is a minhag that you can keep Shabbat until Tuesday, when you end it with Havdallah.

I was just underway during Shabbat and we got back on Monday.

 

Since we cannot light a flame aboard ship, I waited until Tuesday night to finally fulfill the Mitzvah of Havdallah, ending Shabbat on Tuesday night.

One more thing to cross off my bucket list. 

 

Kin

 

In the military world, we move around…a lot.

We move to somewhere new, and in a short period of time, bond with people so much so, that they become a part of your support system. They are as close to you as family. And when you are far from home, those local relationships are vital. And even after you, or they move away, the connection is still there, crossing oceans and time. 

Every time I move, I am blessed to meet people who become like family, who ensure that I am not alone on a Friday night, or invite to their childrens’ birthday parties, and take delight in having “their friend the rabbi” spend Shavuot with them, who ground me, and keep me centered.

I do not know how I could be so blessed.

My cup is overflowing.

Coining MM2

 Rarely do I coin anyone.

[Coining someone is when you give them a coin that has either your command emblem on it, or in my case, the Navy Jewish Chaplain’s Symbol). It is in the shape of the Tablets and Star of David, inscribed with the quote from Commodore Uriah P. Levy on it “ …”. Generally, you give this to someone who has done something remarkable, or it is the gift at say… the Chaplain Corps Ball. I have been coined by Commanding Officers, the Single Marine Program, a Sgt from Kinser DMO, the Armed Services of the Red Cross… You get the picture.]

There are very few of us in the Navy who have the Jewish Chaplain coin and so I coin sparingly.

Most have been SgtMajs I was honored to serve alongside.

One, was the child of a retired Navy diver.

Today, I coined my Machinist Mate Second Class.

After being at the command for 6 years, he is coming to the end of his contract and is getting out of the Navy. In November 2018, we all came in on Shabbat two weekends in a row. We scrubbed vertigree, dry out the bilges, and perform general cleaning quarters in Engineering for the whole day. I ended up in the forward pump room with, at the time, MM3. He was nervous to tell me, a Chief Select, a first class and second class what needed to get done. After ordering him to take charge and give us some direction, he began to lead.

I have gotten to watch him grow, make Second Class, lead from the front, and shine.

Until today, I did not realize how deeply he took my words to heart from that moment in the pump room and subsequent conversations. How we talked about leadership and growth and having faith in yourself.

I could not let him leave without coining him. To honor his journey, and mine. He and I both have come a long way from that forward pump room.

I know you will find your way and be amazing at whatever you decide to do in life. God Bless, MM2. Fair Winds and Following Seas.

Battlestar Galactica

I just started re-watching BSG. Though I never got past the second episode of the fourth season, with all this free time, I thought I would start from the beginning.

This time, I was watching with the eye of a Naval Officer. The similarities, the discrepancies… it was great.

Things I found that they did that surprised me:

When we count down from 10 to 1, we do NOT say five. One could mishear it as “fire.” This is bad if you think there is a fire on the ship, or that it was a command to fire a missile.

The Chief Engineer was also the Chief Boatswain’s Mate. That does not make sense. The CHENG deals with engines, water systems… and an officer. The BMC, or in this case, ABMC, because he is an Aviation BMC, is enlisted, and the flight deck would be his area of responsibility.

I wish they'd had a Navy technical advisor to correct their deficiencies!

Change of Command, COVID style

 Change of Command happens everywhere, regardless of circumstance. 

Fair Winds and Following Seas, CAPT O'Connell. 

Welcome aboard, CAPT Ayan.

INVO

 Let us pray.

 Heavenly Father,

 We come together this morning to witness the passing of the torch of command from Capt O’Connell to Capt Ayan.

In her time aboard Lake Erie, she put her faith in her crew, as she embodied the words of Isaiah, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you; when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned; nor shall the flame kindle upon you.” (Isaiah 43:2)

She led with integrity, pushed us to strive for excellence, supported each of us, and thus, accomplished the missions that came our way.

Lord, in this time of transition, we ask that You continue to guide Capt O’Connell, as she takes her next assignment leading sailors, and strengthening the Navy’s ability to be a force for good in the world.

God, bless Capt O’Connell, Brian and Alayna, as they follow the second start to the right and straight on til morning, in their family’s next big adventure.

May they be blessed with time with which to create lasting memories, making up for when they had to be apart, as all three have sacrificed so much in service to this country.

Amen.

BENE

Let us pray.

 Source of the heart of every warfighter,

 It is our wish and prayer, that You stand by Captain Ayan, as he embarks on this new journey, as Commanding Officer of LKE.

Guide him to build on Capt O’Connell’s successes, preparing the ship and crew to be ready to answer the call, whenever it may come.

Lord, we ask that You consecrate this union between Capt Ayan and the LKE, so he can lead us to success, taking the ship, and crew, to even greater heights.

Bless Catherine, Alyssa, Morgan and Nathaniel with unending love they have shared with Capt Ayan, so they may support him, as he leans on them for re-energized vigor and continuous strength. And may they know patience, for when they are separated from him due to late nights, long weekends and under-ways. 

May You bless the labors of Capt Ayan’s hands, directing him towards success, as Moses said to Joshua, “Chazak V’Ematz” be strong and of good courage.

Amen.

 

 

Joint Professional Military Education Part I – COMPLETED!

 We in the military are life-long learners. We need to be. We learn from our past about tactics and movements. We learn from history’s mistakes, and sacrifices.

We learn to think critically, and plan accordingly.

And so, I joined those officers who completed the JPME part I requirement.

I learned more than I thought I would, and have been applying it when I speak to sailors, or their leadership. It feels good to speak using their lexicon.

After 3 courses spanning 19 months, earning a A- in all classes, I am happy to have completed the program.

Now what to do with my spare time?

I hate this. I missed this.

 

We had a short, four day underway. We left Thursday morning and returned Monday evening. We got lots of training done, completed some qualifications we needed, and did around 24 hours of flight ops, giving the new Helo pilots some practice. It took two days to get into the rhythm of sea life and it felt weird how soon we were pulling back in.

For me and many members of the crew, it was familiar and yet, we were “so over it” after deployment. The shine of being out at sea had lost its luster.

We also forgot how simpler life is at sea. We get more sleep (WHAT???!?!? Your commute is 2 minutes, and you don't have to waste so much time finding a parking spot), know what is expected of us, and outside of sporadic drills throughout the four days, it was great. The weather was gorgeous and truthfully, I missed being out on the ocean with nothing around us but water.

The salt water has in fact, gotten into my blood.

Don’t tell my ship I said that.

Playing "Red Cell"

I am in my final JPME I class, Joint Maritime Operations.

We are currently wargaming our COAs (courses of action) to see which would be the best against the enemy forces. 

I have been chosen to play the Red Cell (the enemy). 

I do not think that was a wise decision. 

I wreaked havoc on everything, did not play by the rules, blew stuff up, avoided logical decisions, and sent my army to use guerilla warfare against the allied armies. 

It is only slightly ironic that the chaplain was chosen to be the enemy, and do well at it. 

Revenge of the Fifth

 I am a member of the Star Wars generation. I joyfully celebrate “May the Fourth (be with you)” and Revenge of the Fifth (May 5^th).

Since taking my Joint Maritime Operations class in JPME I, I have learned about strategies and naval warfare. While watching Revenge of the Sith, I started to analyze the battle raging in the background. All I could think was, after thousands of years, why would the Rebels use that tactic? I could not sit still, thinking that there had to be a better plan than annihilation!

And now, I cannot watch any Star Wars movie without the voice in the back of my head telling me that their strategists were terrible. I could have written a better OPORD (Operations Order).

Passover in the Age of COVID

Josh Sherwin (LCDR) and I got to lead two Pesach Seders together. 

First night Pesach, over Zoom. 

We were told that we were like the two old guys from the Muppets (Waldorf and Statler). 

We had a blast.

(The best part was, we were only in uniform from the waist up.)

 

We then joined forces again on Friday night, to host a Seder for the Jewish Marine Recruits, at the Depot. 

It was a challenge, but rewarding for those in the room. 

                                            

It's Quiet on the Street (March 2020)

 My commute to work is quiet. 

There are very few cars on the street. 

But I appreciate the hotel inspiring me on my way to the ship. 

Last week, it was a heart.

Masks aboard ship

 Masks on all the time. 

At least mine matches my uniform!

(LCSC Sanchez and I in the LSO shack)

Pre-COVID Wardroom "Dining In"

 We had a "dining in" event, with the wardroom at the beginning of March.

I was about to leave to go teach at the Jewish Lay Leader training that Monday. 

I was so sick. 

I got through my presentation of the MIA/POW table, and my invocation before asking to "depart the pattern," and go home. 

The Commanding Officer thanked me for my invocation and explanation, and jokingly told me to take me and my Corona Virus to NY. 

It was funny at the time....

Below is my invocation for the dining in. 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Mess, let us pray.

God of the salty sea and sailor,

We gather tonight to perform the time-honored tradition, of the dining in.

It is a time to celebrate with toasts, jokes and gin.

With skits full of humor, the JOs will entertain us,

Fining each other, without making a fuss.

For any infraction, we shall drink from the grog,

Too many trips, and our innards we might clog.

So tonight Lord, we ask, as we dine with our peers,

God be with us all, and may tonight end with a cheer!

Amen.

QM2 Thomas Ryan O'Connor's Eulogy

Thomas Ryan O’Connor had one theme that framed his life.

Love every aspect of life fiercely.

We are here at the beach because he loved the water.

Whether it was for swim team, or lifeguarding, bodysurfing or competing and WINNING the Tampa Bay Frog Man swim, water was in Tom’s blood.

But it was not just in the water where he was at home.

He spent the last three days of his life camping with Dave Pierce. Even though it took he and Shannah a long time to find his dream apartment, or “Coronado Island estate,” he was rarely there. He was always outside.

He loved connecting to nature, and get back to humankind’s roots – from camping and seeing the world from the mountain peaks, to hunting and hiking.

Tom loved people.

He pushed some of us out of the boxes we had placed ourselves in.

He showed us that we could be more - -because he knew how to connect to each of us – when to use humor and when to be serious.

His charisma made us want to live in his world – where every action was poetry in motion, the Big Lebowski was a class on philosophy, cast-iron skillets were the only way to go.

He brought everyone into his universe – ensuring that no-one was left behind.

He shared his dreams, and that made us want to dream too. 

He reframed how we see the world – as adventures and challenges waiting for us to conquer.

He showed us that you could live a life that was juxtaposed between being driven and carefree – like learning a new song on the guitar by ear, or having three times as many shoes than your wife.

Tom loved people.

He used humor to defuse tension-filled moments, like once describing BUDS as if it were a really bad summer camp.

“Today at summer camp, they twied to drown us.”

He loved making us laugh with his impressions and impersonations – from Micky Mouse to George Bush.

Thomas loved his family - - by blood or those he put his arms around.

He wore his pride for his Irish heritage on his chest with a Tree of Life tattoo, surrounded with the phrase, “Together We Are Alive Forever.” The roots that grow into the ground, the branches that reach for the sky and the seedling that falls and sprouts, continuing the cycle forever.    

Though he made sure to stand next to Caitlan, to demonstrate how much taller he had become when she visited from college, and she may have given him nightmares about how she beat him at every board game they played together, he loved her fiercely, as only a younger brother can.

He perfected his grandmother’s shepherd’s pie recipe, out of love for her.

He loved his mother, learning from her the skills of a quiet leader.

He loved his grandfather, and showed that love through a similar eagle tattoo, a permanent reminder of their bond.

He loved his father, sharing deep conversations about life and philosophy,  and through their conversations, looked to embody Marcus Aurelius’ teaching, “Waste no more time arguing about a good man should be. Be one.”

Thomas loved his wife.

He would sit on the phone with her during her 2 hour commute home every day and just talk.

He would make dinner and pack her lunch for the next day.

He took such pride in all of her accomplishments, he bragged about her to anyone who would listen.

And he knew how important a tuna sandwich can be.

He was willing to sit down and watch The Bachelor with Shannah, only to become a little obsessed in what happened week-to-week.

Though he knew she was not totally excited about hiking, he tempered his excitement, because walking with her was more important than racing up the mountain.

He thought about their future, and albeit, maybe went a little overboard, found a book of Norse Baby Names with her, asking her to consider the name SVEN or ODIN for their future children.

She shared her love of Missouri with him, he came away with a love for Bud Lite and dalmatian dogs. 

Tomas loved life. And in his short 25 years, he lived it to the fullest. He did not waste time – instead – every moment was an opportunity to explore the world he loved, to connect with people and make them feel a part of something greater than themselves. He shared those things important in his life with others. He loved his family, demonstrated it by how he lived his life – we are proof of that. And he loved Shannah – his soulmate. His yin to his yang. She helped him grow into the man we knew.

He would want us to celebrate this day and not waste an opportunity to live, explore, to wonder and dream. 

As Dave Matthews Band said,  

“Celebrate we will
'Cause life is short but
Sweet for certain, hey
We climb on two by two
To be sure these days continue”

Good night sweet prince. 

Pulpit versus Military Chaplaincy

During this time with Tom's family, I have come to a realization.

The aspect of walking the family through their grief, and being a constant in their lives for years to come is not what a Military chaplain does.

We move every 2 - 2.5 years.

We deal with deaths and do not have the bandwidth to keep in touch with all the previous families.
We have hundreds (no exaggeration) of other sailors and families that need our attention at the same time.

We get the families resources to help them grieve and then heal.

But we are not expected to maintain contact, after the one year anniversary.

I miss that part of pulpit life.

My father named children, Bar and Bat Mitzvahed them, married them, and buried them.
He can recite family trees of congregants with whom he had close ties, and tell me all the connections he had with each of the branches.

He was these families' rabbi.

I wish I could be that for my sailors as well.

Losing two people within a week

One of the challenges of being a chaplain, is balancing our job of helping sailors and their families grieve, while we ourselves are grieving of a loss in our own lives.

I lost a friend from shul on Thursday. Her name was Vanina (Zichrona Livracha = May her Memory Be For a Blessing).
We joked about our rhyming names, and mutual small stature.
She had become more observant and involved in the shul in the last 10 years of the 56 she lived.
I was supposed to teach her how to Lein Megillat Esther.
It uses a different tune than the regular Torah reading.
She messaged me during deployment, because she wanted to know she missed me.

She would scold me for sitting by myself in the back of the shul, when the rest of the "regulars" all sat together, closer to the Bimah (stage).

She was a Gute Neshama - a good soul.
And when she hugged me, all my worries fell away.

Right after I heard about Vanina's passing, I got a call that Thomas' family wanted me to deliver the eulogy at his Celebration of Life, on Shabbat.

Friday morning, I sat on the phone, talking with family and friends of Tom's, to gather more details to include in the eulogy. I stopped long enough to get dressed and go to Vanina's (Z"L) funeral.

After the funeral, I went home, changed clothes, and started writing the opening blessing, eulogy, and closing blessing for Thomas.

And then I went to shul.

It was at Kiddush (fellowship after services) that I could not hold back the tears.

I cried for Vanina (Z"L).

I cried for Tom.

I cried because the world has lost two amazing people in such a short period of time.

***BUT BOTH LIVED LIFE ON THEIR TERMS,***
For that, I am grateful.

But I still had a job to do.
I had to help the family and community Tom created, to say goodbye.

So, I did what needed to be done.
I decompartmentalized my losses and went back to writing.

Sometimes, being a chaplain is hard.

But there is no-where else I would rather be.

My First CACO call

I have gone 7 years without being tasked to give a notification for the death of a sailor or Marine.

On Thursday, a sailor from a DDG on the same pier as me, was struck by a vehicle and died.
He was pronounced at about 1500. I was called at 1600 by their chaplain, a friend of mine, who is based in Hawaii.

Of course I went.

Of course, I notified one of his closest friends who was on duty at the time.

Of course, I stayed aboard for three hours counseling everyone because he was the sailor everyone knew and loved.

Of course, I went to duty turn over at 0615 on Friday morning, praying with the crew,
helping them to grieve. It does not matter that this is a 96 for my ship. A fellow sailor died and his ship needed a chaplain.

Of course, I sat with the CO and XO and officers who cared deeply for this sailor - a BUDS drop-out, a QM2, ESWS, SAR swimmer, VBSS, always had a joke at the right moment to defuse the stressful situation, who loved to surf like the CO, and developed a deep respect for his Senior Chief.

Of course, though it is Shabbat, I was at duty turnover at 0615, and sat with the crew for two hours.

Of course, I assisted in making the notification to his father, mother, new wife/now widow. I know that it is Shabbat, but I was not going to rush out of there, even three hours later. This is where they needed me to be.

Of course I will be at khaki call and the all-hands call Tuesday morning, and sit with NN DIV afterwards.

By the request of the family, YES, I will be at the viewing on Tuesday. Just because it is not a Jewish practice does not mean I cannot support someone else's faith practices.

Yes, I gave my number to every Khaki that asked and to the sailors closest to him who may need to talk at some point in their grieving process, who like him, were plank owner of this amazing ship.

Yes, I made sure that a chaplain made contact with the previous NAV who just PCSed last month.

This was, and will continue to be hard, emotionally.
I am taking care of myself, and have an amazing support system, so I can be there for the crew and the family in the coming days.


May memories of him bring strength to those who knew and loved him.

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https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/public-safety/story/2020-02-13/florida-man-24-struck-and-killed-on-i-8-in-alpine

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Rory O'Connor is with Mary Clifford OConnor and 4 others.

February 13 at 10:12 PM ·

We lost Thomas yesterday afternoon.

He and a Navy friend (David Pierce, Kate Pierce) were returning from a hunting trip and pulled over to secure a tarp covering their gear that had worked itself loose on the bed of his truck.

Tom was on the road side of the truck when a car from the opposite side of the road veered off course, crossed the center line and struck Tom.

He was life-flighted from the rural Julian, CA countryside and was pronounced dead shortly after arriving at Sharp Memorial trauma center in San Diego.

Please give us this time to grieve and sort through the details of what will be painful coming days and weeks. I will post more as we make arrangements in San Diego and here in Tampa Bay.

We thank you for your thoughts, concerns, and love. Hold your loved ones tight. None of us have any guarantees.

Life is precious.